From The Kitchen of Humanity: The Missing Ingredients
Add a dash of kindness and sprinkle a lot of love, empathy, acceptance, and compassion. Serves: Everyone. Are you ready for a portion?
By Evita David.
What would it be like to eat cookies without flour as its main ingredient? Or a hamburger without the ham itself? Okay… what about having a bar of chocolate without cocoa butter and sugar in it? I would certainly say a deficit of any of these principal elements would never bring a cookie, hamburger or bar of chocolate alive…in fact, it would be pretty miserable!
Having said this, I now ask, what would it be like to live in an ‘empathy-deficit’ world? How would a world without love and compassion be - the key elements for sustaining humanity?
The spiritual leader, Dalai Lama, once said, “love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.” Just like our favorite foods, a world without these chief ingredients would also be dreadful.
As I’m writing this, I’m thinking about how the media was flooded with the news of people storming the United States Capitol, just a few months ago. Five died during or shortly after the riots, including one police officer. More than 140 were injured. It was just around that time when I read Jacob Black’s (a 29-year-old African-American) case, once again, totally bewildered and angered that no officers would be prosecuted for shooting the victim seven times. Further, in the first month of New Year, I get the news about a 50-year-old woman who was gang-raped and murdered by three men, including a temple priest, in Western Uttar Pradesh’s Badaun district. There was excessive bleeding, which led to shock and then in turn the death of the victim. A few months ago, whilst I was writing a blog, I came across the news of a Dalit youth beaten to death by two upper-caste men for touching their food at a feast in Chhatarpur district of Madhya Pradesh.
These are only a sample of such atrocious and senseless acts reported daily – at least it feels almost daily sometimes. It’s disheartening to know that there are those who breathe like me and function like every other human being, but are still without humanity, committing such crimes. It’s disheartening to see so many people around me - my fellow human race - be so disconnected, voiceless, and suffer so greatly at the hand of one another. Why are we all baring whiteness to such a lack of empathy in society today and repeatedly seeing such trauma in the headlines? In a lot of ways society has arguably improved, but in many others, it feels as if it’s got worse.
Today it’s them - tomorrow it could be you or one of your loved ones experiencing hate, crime, or just unkindness. I invite you to join me in making a change, let’s band together and decide to not let things get any worse, as on a micro level we can all make macro changes. How about having an empathy revolution? How about replacing hatred, intolerance, judgment, and injustice by adding the missing ingredients of love, empathy, acceptance, and compassion to humanity?
Sourced from: https://adventuresinthefingerlakes.com/tag/empathy/.
Are you ready to reconnect and create positive change? I certainly am. So let’s get prepared! Change doesn’t have to be big or overwhelming either, we can start off small with a gram of this and a pinch of that! Therefore, to start with, how about trying out a few recipes from the Kitchen of Humanity? Great! Grab your notes…
Take a bowl full of your heartfelt emotions and stir in some self-awareness, in preparation for these next steps. Once combined, you can dress and season the finished piece with the finest blend of Love, Empathy, Acceptance, and Compassion.
To Add Love:
Step 1:
Think of a person you care about. What about that person makes them so close to your heart? What about them makes it hard to not have them by your side? Maybe they calm you down when you’re feeling stressed, or you share some of your happiest moments together.
Step 2:
Think about something you could do for that special someone. You could simply gift your time! Have some quality conversations (in person or virtually), or accompany them in their favorite activity. Listen to their words carefully - show that you’re actively listening and genuinely interested. Express yourself and engage fully. Show them your gratitude and let them truly know how special they are to you.
Step 3:
Very often, we visit places where we come across numerous strangers. Try to make a connection. It could be in an elevator, grocery store, etc. Take your time. You could simply try offering a “hello” and give a big smile! If the person responds to your efforts, ask them a neutral question or comment on something around you. This could open up avenues for further conversation about yourselves. By striking up small conversations with strangers, not only can it spread happiness and reduce feelings of loneliness and isolation – but it can boost your confidence too! This in turn, will make it easier to talk to people around you and connect in the future.
To add empathy:
Step 1:
Recall a time where you may have behaved rudely or inappropriately towards someone. Instead of justifying yourself, try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and visualize how that situation may have felt for them, what they may have been thinking, and how that event may have impacted them afterwards. This exercise is known as stepping out from your frame of reference into someone else’s, so to truly understand and appreciate their experience. Doing this is what it means to think and operate with empathy.
Step 2:
Even if the relationship cannot be restored, try to empathize and genuinely extend energy into the universe, wishing for them to experience positivity in the future. If you feel brave enough, try talking to that person and offer an apology. Or, if you are the one that was hurt, try to forgive. The gift of forgiveness doesn’t necessarily let them off the hook, but it frees you from feelings of anger and resentment. Holding on to anger is like holding on to a hot coal – you’re the one that ends up getting burnt. So let it go and understand that the person who hurt you, too, functions just like you - and they’re not perfect.
To add acceptance:
Step 1:
Think of a person/group you feel is very different from you. Perhaps an individual with whom you may have had minor/major conflicts with. Maybe you belong to another religious group, have contrasting interests, political ideologies, nationalities, etc.
Step 2:
Next, make a list of the things you have in common with that person/group. Maybe you work at the same place as the other, have a family, etc. More importantly, you both belong to the same species. This means that you share 99.9% of your DNA with them! Review these similar features. And now, think of that person/group again, but as an individual who has numerous qualities that are in common with you. Empathize and try accepting the person now. If you struggle with this, identify why you have these feelings and where they first began, so to analyze and dismantle them – hate or discontent starts and ends in the mind. Harness the power of yours and choose change.
To add compassion:
Step 1:
Think of a person that you struggle to spend time with or be around, and why that may be? Maybe it’s because of a notable age gap or difference in generational attitudes. It could be because of your different viewpoints, interests, etc. For me, that could be my grandparents! Now, as earlier, think about the features you have in common with that person and try to strike up a short conversation with them about that shared thing. If it’s difficult for you to talk in person, you could start by trying to write a letter or draft a short online message that could help you to improve your communication. If you really find yourself struggling to establish common ground, a sure-fire way to connect is to ask them questions about themselves - because people love to talk about themselves! This sneaky way of getting info may open up doors for further paths of conversation.
I hope these ingredients are enough to get you going. I can already smell the aroma of change wafting out of this brand new kitchen – and this is just to begin with!
Why not try adding some of your own ingredients? Whatever you cook up, I bet it will be delectable! Do let me know what it tastes like!
References:
Wikipedia contributors., (last updated on 2021, March 10). 2021 storming of the United States Capitol. Wikipedia. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2021_storming_of_the_United_States_Capitol.
Wikipedia contributors., (last updated on 2021, March 9). Shooting of Jacob Blake. Wikipedia. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shooting_of_Jacob_Blake.
Taskin, B., (2021, January 6). 50-yr-old anganwadi worker ‘gang-raped at Budaun temple she visited for prayers, murdered’. ThePrint. Retrieved from https://theprint.in/india/50-yr-old-anganwadi-worker-gang-raped-at-budaun-temple-she-visited-for-prayers-murdered/580438/.
Singh, R., (2020 December 10). Madhya Pradesh: Dalit Youth Beaten to Death for Touching Plates of 'Upper Caste' Men. The Wire. Retrieved from https://thewire.in/caste/madhya-pradesh-dalit-youth-beaten-to-death-for-touching-plates-of-upper-caste-men.
National Human Genome Research Institute. Genetics vs. Genomics Fact Sheet. (2018, September 7). Retrieved from https://www.genome.gov/about-genomics/fact-sheets/Genetics-vs-Genomics#:~:text=All%20human%20beings%20are%2099.9,about%20the%20causes%20of%20diseases