Friendship & How It Plays A Role In Our Well-being
Friendship is formed through different aspects of our lives. We can either have many friends or just a few. It all depends on how we view the term ‘Friendship’. Some people say, quality over quantity but some may disagree. Individually, everyone has a different definition of what friendship means to them and today we’re going to explore some of those.
According to one of the famous philosophers, Aristotle, there are three types of friendship (Itani, 2018). The first one being that of ‘Good and Virtue’. The other two types are friendships of ‘Utility’ and ‘Pleasure’. Aristotle describes the first type of friendship as the ultimate type - one in which two individuals love each other and wish good things for one another. In order to possess such a relationship, one must first understand virtue and how it works with having a perfect friendship. Friendships of virtue simply mean that an individual genuinely cares and wishes you well regardless of pleasure or utility. However, there are exceptions to this, as not every friendship can be perfect.
This brings us to the second type of friendship, ‘Utility’. This type of friendship is considered imperfect because of what it entails. Unlike the first type of friendship, a friendship of utility is more commonly developed between individuals who don’t often hang out together, but gain some use from their relationship. An example of this would be a classmate of yours helping you to study for an exam. Because of the nature of this friendship, the relationship can easily be broken as there is nothing deep or concrete holding the individuals together.
This leads us to the third and last type of friendship, ‘Pleasure’. Aristotle said that this type of friendship is one that younger people most commonly gravitate towards. He stated, “With the young, the motive of friendship appears to be pleasure since the young guide their lives by emotion and for the most part pursue what is pleasure to themselves. And the thing that pleases them changes as their age alters”. In other words, you form this type of friendship with people you enjoy being around. When we are young, joy can be found from any little thing such as riding bikes, shopping or watching a movie, just to name a few. Unfortunately, many of these types of friendships don’t end up lasting long, as young people’s emotions frequently change as well as how they perceive their social world.
It doesn’t mean that a friendship of utility or pleasure is necessarily bad for us, it simply means that as we venture through life, these are the kind of relationships we will encounter.
Not every friendship can be sunshine and rainbows. People can sometimes struggle to understand one another, and in doing so, may be reluctant (or unable) to empathise or work together to resolve the conflict. In such instances, this can often lead to the dissolution of the friendship. Sources of conflict can be due to issues surrounding giving or receiving constructive criticism, as well as experiencing disrespect within the relationship. Not everyone is able to receive constructive criticism (or even give it!), this is because humans are sensitive to critique and can often struggle to phrase things diplomatically and with tact. If someone is not open minded to others opinions and cannot be accepting of different points of view, then difficulties can often occur. Similarly, when someone thinks they know how to give constructive criticism, the other person can view this as disrespect. It all comes down to each individual’s perception and interpretation of the social exchange.
In conclusion, we should want the best for our friends. I think it is important to voice your opinion and to help your friends explore and be more accepting of different points of view. With that being said, I hope you learn to cherish your friendships as they help you to grow and love. And in cases where they don’t last, learn to let them go.
"Friends are the people who make you smile brighter, laugh louder and live better" – Unknown.
- By Sasha Singh.
References
Knobel, A.M, (2016), Aristotle, True Friendship and the “Soulmate” view of Marriage. [Online]. Public Discourse Journal of Weatherspoon Institute. Viewed: 12 October, 2019, Available from: www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2016/06/16819/.