Happiness With a Bit of Sadness

Am I happy?

Am I content with what my life is about?

Why am I sad?

Is my sadness or happiness valid?

Do you often question yourself what it means to be happy? In this article I will take you through a series of personal experiences and how I managed to view my feelings as valid.

At the tender age of 17, I had just started my studies in Chemistry at University. Being a Chemistry major I felt contented for a while, I thought this was it, my dream career. But things escalated quickly afterwards. During my first semester I failed calculus and I was embarrassed by my failure that I hid it from my parents. The downfall came after that, I started losing interest in my studies and I became depressed and socially drained. In my second semester I started to see a counsellor. My main goal was to use therapy to help me gain interest in my studies and hopefully tell my parents the truth about my failing grade.
For months I cried and asked myself, 'why do I feel unhappy with everything?' I couldn't understand my overwhelming feelings and hence my suicidal thoughts began. It's never easy to overcome such thoughts and the most difficult part was realizing that it was just temporary, my sadness was temporary and I had in my power the ability to change my thoughts. Who knew the mind was such a powerful tool?

After a few sessions with therapy I realized that my career choice was not for me. I began researching and Psychology caught my attention. Eventually I told my parents about my failure and they were supportive although I could tell they were disappointed. A year after and I started my new programme, Psychology. I was both excited and nervous because if I wasn't contented then I would have to change again. Luckily the programme was a diploma and it was one year. In that one year I've never felt more complete with myself. I had found my new career and now I was certain of what I wanted to do and who I wanted to be.
Before I got there, I had to go through some trials. Those ups and downs made me realize that life is not one straight forward pathway. You will encounter roadblocks and flat tyres but that doesn't mean you're stuck there forever. Eventually the roadblocks will move and your flat tyres will change. Sometimes all you need is patience and hope. I'm aware both can be difficult to possess but try it with the simple things. Try being patient with yourself first. Be happy with the little things. Sadness will come but it will not last. We're humans, our feelings, your feelings are valid.

- By Sasha Singh.